You are no good to Tara and I don't like you. I only let you pet me when Tara is knitting. You don't feed me according to the schedule I prefer and you are always kissing on my girl. I suspect you are too dense to realize that when I growl at you for hugging Tara, that means I am displeased. Now that we have that straight, I suggest you don't try it again. She obviously doesn't care for it either; I can tell. Don't let it happen again or else!
-Your Pal, Murphy
P.s. My favroite time of day is when Tara is reading in bed and I get to lay on your pillow and pretend to clean my paws and then you get to lay down on a wet pillow. You're welcome.